To Top
Sitemap
deutsche Version

Confessions

...from the deep
 

Background information

We summarized the story of our album once again but more detailed for you.
Who prefers to get surprised, should not read this text, before he has listen to the CD.
 

 
Levana part I
Camera Obscura
Sommertod
Ausgelöscht
Im schwarzen Ozean
Die drei Mütter
Levana part II
Schlüssel meiner Träume
Reise ohne Wiederkehr
Levana part III
 
album cover: Confessions De Profundis part I
Ann
Taubenflügel
Opium
De Profundis part II
Lebewohl
Schattendolmetscher
Stadt im Meer
Iliade der Schmerzen
De Profundis part III
 
 

 
 
Sommertod

Camera Obscura

At first, you get a summary of all, that is waiting for you or rather, of everything the central figure Thomas De Quincey went through. He told of his opium addiction, he was driven to through the sufferings of his life, which were accompanying him since early childhood. He tried to stop taking opium several times, but he could never free himself totally. His Dreams left their indelible mark on him and his life - Dreams, no other human ever dreamt before - Dreams of his grave - of Death, Horror, Eternity and Darkness.
 

Sommertod (Summer death)

This song portrays his childhood, starting very calmly and peacefully at first. He was growing up in isolation with his loving sisters in carelessness. Every evening, the bible was read out and even in earliest childhood, he listened interested and fascinated. But this life in light stayed not for long. Some of his pets and one sister, he could scarcely remember, died. He was too young to understand this completely, nevertheless it left its mark on his life. He withdrew, flew into books and loved loneliness. The death of his beloved sister Elisabeth hit him very deeply. He crept into her death chamber and saw her lying angel-like but dead in her bed. He did not understand why god took her to him and revolted mentally against her resurrection in glory. He wanted her back just as she was and not a radiantly beautiful being in the realm of god. While the sun was shining outsides, he felt only darkness deep inside and he said farewell. Later, at the burial, which he took for hypocrisy, he had a vision. He saw ill and suffering children flying with their sickbeds into god's arms. He sank into sadness and melancholy and searched even more for calmness and solitude.
 

Ausgelöscht (Obliterated)

De Quincey's thoughts and memories were never obliterated. He remembers everything, especially in intoxications, so he compared his memory with a Palimpsest. This is a parchment, where the writing was removed by alchemists during the middle Ages to be able to use it again. Because of the methods, they used at that time, it is possible to make the wiped out text visible again. So nothing was lost.
Overview  
 

 
 

(The black ocean) Im schwarzen Ozean

The black ocean is a symbol of De Quincey for life with its sweet and terrible sides. He was of the opinion, that we have to suffer on earth to be enlightened later. He himself was loathed and detested and he suffered during his whole life. But he also told about others, who did not have it better than him. One Example, he mentioned, was a girl, who was left all alone after all her relatives had died. If we would know, what life has in store for us, we would never want to be born.
 

(The three mothers) Die drei Mütter

Other symbols for his theory of suffering are the three mothers. The first part of the song is about a Roman ritual, where a newborn child is lifted up at first and then is laid down on the floor, to recognize that the world is bigger than the child. The goddess Levana keeps the ritual under surveillance. Even though, she detests the humiliation, which the child has to experience in the dust, her education is also not very pleasantly. She brings up through suffering, she loves pain and she is the sovereign of the three ladys of sorrow. These three mothers rule the humans and they serve God, silently and each one in her own way.
The oldest is Mater Lachrymarum, the Lady of Tears. Another name for her is Madonna and she is still quite nice with her tender, sweet eyes. She flies to sobbing people, moans and calls for forced human. She has a key for each house, no matter if it is a palace or a cottage, and she sits there with the mourning and left alones.
The second is Mater Suspiriorum, the Lady of Sigh. She is not able to fly, she is always looking down to earth and drooping her head. She gets lost within the vastness and whispers only during the lonesome half light. She helps betrayed and detested people.
The youngest and most horrible is Mater Tenebrarum, the Lady of Darkness. The sorrows and the madness are flickering in her eyes. She is unstoppable and storms to the deepest grief. All might is hers and who is touched by her fades away. Levana and the three Ladies of Sorrow cursed De Quincey.
Until now, only Mater Lachrymarum takes care for him, but now Mater Suspiriorum should look after him till he is ready to serve the Third. Through Madonna, he worshiped the grave and languished in deep sorrow. And also in the future, there will not be hope or relief for him or a woman to console him. Mater Tenebrarum will reveal the most horrible truth to him, until his spirit will come back into being new and strengthened.
Der Fluch
  Overview
 

 
 
Reise ohne Wiederkehr

Schlüssel meiner Träume (Key of my dreams)

We move on through the life of Thomas. He stayed at a boarding school for a while, where his life acts according to the (school) bell. But he ran away. This farewell and its consequences were, just as the suffering of his childhood, a key to his dreams. One of the keys, which opened him the door to opium and brought him ten years of new suffering.
 

Reise ohne Wiederkehr (Journey without return)

His journey through England became a journey without return. He had no money and so he often did not have anything to eat. He met many people on his way, he never saw again. Even if some were talking of the love of god, they chased him away afterwards. Their closeness to god was only played appearance. But he also found people, who helped him, who gave him something to eat or a bed for the night. At last, he arrived at London. He moved in an old, deserted house where a poor girl lived. He never saw this girl again, later. In this house, his dreams started. He was almost starving and the visions came with the malnutrition.
Overview  
 

 
 

Ann

But not everything in London was bad. He met Ann, a ca. 16 year old prostitute. She was as poor and left alone as himself and he gave her the promise to rescue her. One day, when he almost died of weakening, she saved his life. After a tearful farewell in London, he drove away to borrow some money, enough to life together without misery. He also came back, but he did not meet her again. He searched in all streets of London, looked into every face and asked for her, but he did not even know her last name. He never found her, even if he roams through London's alleys again and again later in his life. He hoped that she was relieved of the pain of the world. She diseased of terrible cough and maybe, she died of this and her pain is gone.
 

(Dove wings) Taubenflügel

He left London, his stepmother with a heart of stone, and he left others to the poorness and pain of the city. He did not have to starve anymore. He suffered a lot of his nightmares, but he found his wife Margaret, who stayed with him, observed him and consoled him. This is how, he reached the place of his comfort, where he would have flied to during is time at London, if he would have had dove wings.
Taubenflügel
  Overview
 

 
 
Opium

Opium

His consumption of opium started harmlessly. His teeth ached and this remedy was recommended. At first, he experienced the nice sides of the opium consumption: His toothache vanished, he felt as happy as never before and there was no longer any space for sadness. The opera and music, but also the sound of foreign languages became a mental pleasure. He often roamed for hours through mysterious alleys, shared the happiness of his fellow men and he did not have to think about their poorness. Through the opium, anger became peace and every trouble was forgotten. He found rest and saw bewitching pictures. At the beginning, opium was his key to paradise.
 

Lebewohl (Farewell)

But this stayed not for long. He stuck to the opium also without aches and by and by the dark sides predominated. He no longer found peace, he could no longer sleep and he lost all his hopes. The tender beauty of his first intoxications became a storm of agony. During this time, he met a Malayan and he gave him opium for some days. After the man took the whole ration at once, Thomas expected his death. But it seemed as if he had survived this amount, because in these times an Asian in England attracted attention and Thomas never heard of some possible death of this man.
 

Schattendolmetscher (Shadow interpreter)

To make us understand his "Dark Interpreter" better, he told us of a phenomenon at the Brocken. On some early summer days you can see it there and the figure repeats every gestures, someone shows it. Just as this phenomenon is only a reflection, the Dark Interpreter was a reflection of De Quincey and he accompanied him day and night. He told and explained everything, Thomas's self said and did during the day or in dreams and he remembered every thought and moment. He accompanied him and stood by him.
Overview  
 

 
 
And now, we take you with us to the dreams of Thomas De Quincey.
 

(Town in the sea) Stadt im Meer

De Quincey saw the town Savannah la Mar in a dream, a town, which sank overnight in the sea with all its inhabitants, and became a monument of God's anger. He saw her deep down underneath the crystal-clear, blue waves of the ocean and he traveled with the Dark Interpreter though the town. They found altars in peace and splendour, but also dead children who were sleeping till dawn in the silence. God will build his paradise upon the suffering of earth. Compared with this, here and now is insignificant, just a breath, nothing that could last or might be important. God lives from eternity to eternity and how incomprehensible short and unimportant is a small moment in this period of time.
 

(Illiade of pain) Iliade der Schmerzen

He was captured in his dreams and in his madness. He looked into the chasm of the night. He dreamt of processions, which threw him into chasms, of rooms and countries which were changing, of his childhood, of legions, of endless stairs, glowing crystal towers and mirror lakes. And all the time he was chased by human faces.
He dreamt of the Orient, where the Malayan, he once met, came from. He was carried off by this man into a strange, exotic world. Thomas ran away and was captured by the night. He was sacrificed and flew from the Indian gods, from Brahma, Shiwa and Wischnu. And he met crocodiles and Egyptian gods, he flew from the madness' darkness, from the dungeons, where he was forced to live among the crocodiles.
But his hope rescued him at last on his flight. No matter, how far he flew, everything around him turned into the crocodiles, attacking him. Until he finally was wakened by the voices of his children, bringing him hope and relief for a short time.
But he also dreamt of other children of his past. On a lovely summer's day in the country he saw dead cattle lying around a grave and in this grave, there was a dead child, he once loved. Suddenly he was in Jerusalem and under the palm trees he caught sight of Ann. Ann - so much more beautiful as formally and without tears. Together they become blurred in the fog and walked once again through the nightly London lights.
The curse of the third Mother was fulfilled. Tormented by misery and pain De Quincey's last fight began, which he would never win. He dreamt of alarm, fleeing people and faces around him in a wild chaos. He saw everyone, he loved. And then, the Mother revealed the horrifying name of Death. He did not want to sleep anymore...
There was never peace for him. Also in times, he took no Opium, his dreams have never stopped.
Stadt im Meer
  Overview
 

 
 
album cover: confessions